Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Dating Inbox

When dating, women can get concerned about preserving their sense of privacy. Boundaries are important - what if a guy turns out to be a pest?

Here's a quick tip: Create an email address specifically for the early stages of dating.

Most of us have easy access to free email providers like Gmail, Yahoo, Hotmail, etc. Use a special email address for online dating websites and for the guys you meet there. You may even want to use this email address for new men you meet in real life.

Having a separate email address will create a communications buffer. If you decide that you no longer want to interact with a guy, and he doesn't like that decision, he won't have access to your regular personal email address or your work email address. The emails will be on your terms. He won't be able to harass you at work by pinging you with unwanted or distracting emails.

Maybe you've had an annoying emailer before. I know I have. After one date with a new guy, and many emails and instant messages, I decided that I didn't want to see him anymore. He didn't like that and emailed me for years....trying to get a response. I marveled at his persistence, but his attempts probably would have been more troubling if they arrived in my work inbox or in my regular personal email inbox. But - they arrived in my Hotmail "dating inbox." Years into it, finding the emails was a bit of a hoot. Maybe it was funnier because unbeknownst to him, I had set a personal boundary and the electronic PO Box he had access to was kept at arm’s-length.

None of my dates ever turned into a stalker, but I imagine that the dating inbox decoy might make it harder for a stalker to track you, especially if you withhold vital information like your full last name. That's all up to you.

When you move beyond the first few dates and are pretty sure you want to continue seeing a guy, it's fine to gradually share more personal information, like a work email address, for quick logistical planning for after work events. But if you start out with your "dating inbox" strategy, you get to control when all of that occurs.

Even if you’re the one who gets rejected, the dating inbox can be nice. It may be easier to move on if you don't have a guy's contact information and old emails staring you in the face after a painful breakup.

And here's the really beautiful part. When you are done dating, you can simply cancel or discontinue using the email address. Poof! If you decide to make a clean break with your past when you get married, you can.

I didn't read about the dating inbox anywhere. This was something I came up with for myself as a practical way to put some distance between me and new guys. When you are dating a lot, "relationship management" techniques can help keep you sane.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Visit to the National Shrine Today


My husband and I dropped by the National Shrine today in Washington D.C. and above is a photo of my book in the new arrivals section. I must tell you how honored I am by the amazing sales! This evening, I noticed that the book is now in the top 100 list on Amazon.com and at #65, it is hovering right next to Confessions of St. Augustine at #63. I realize that these rankings go back and forth like a reed in the wind, but WOW!

I wrote the book because I really want to help Catholics date more strategically….so as part of pushing that message out, I’ve been trying to market the book as effectively as I can. If you have any marketing ideas for me, I’d love to hear them.

And if you are a bookseller who wants to help me get my message out, let me know – because I can send you a poster (that stands on a table) and promotional materials (flyers, cards).

Friday, September 10, 2010

Catholicmatch Special Feature

I'm doing media interviews left and right at the moment - would anyone be terribly upset with me if I started re-directing this URL to my blog at www.amybonaccorso.com? It's hard updating this website, my other website, Facebook (both personal and Fan page) and Twitter each and every time something amazing happens....because so many amazing things are happening lately.

Catholicmatch.com is featuring me on their blog.

A Q&A is available here:
http://www.catholicmatch.com/blog/2010/09/amy-bonaccorso-dont-expect-your-dating-lives-to-mimic-your-parents/

And an exclusive book excerpt is available here:
http://www.catholicmatch.com/blog/2010/09/exclusive-book-excerpt-how-to-get-to-i-do/

Plus, let me know if you are interested in free promotional cards and flyers to spread the word about the new book (church bulletins, coffee shops, etc). I am happy to send you some goodies.

Enjoy!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Book Sold Out on Amazon.com – Don’t Worry, They Re-Stocked

Happy Labor Day!

Well, the book sold out on Amazon within the first 3 days of being available, and then they re-stocked. Phew! Thank you to everyone who has ordered it. Please feel free to let me know what you think of it. I am very happy that demand was strong enough to overwhelm a giant like Amazon.com. That says something about the hunger for the topic.

The media requests are coming in and I am updating the Appearances page frequently, and the Articles & Press page will also get updated as I do interviews that appear in writing. One very special one is coming up on Catholicmatch.com’s newly launched blog. They are featuring a Q&A with me and will also have an exclusive excerpt of my book.

If you are in the Washington area, you can come for a book signing at the Catholic Information Center on October 27, 2010 at 6:00 p.m. Hope to see you there!

Please visit my new web site and browse: www.amybonaccorso.com. I am trying to transition this blog over to the new website.