Saturday, December 25, 2010

For Christmas, Help Me Get the Word Out

Did you know that you can give me the best Christmas present ever?

If you’ve read How to Get to ‘I Do’ and liked it, please let others know about it. Post a book review on, Barnes and Noble’s website, or any other bookseller’s website that you like.

So many women have told me how life changing my book was for them. Some of them set aside a few minutes to do a review. Those reviews mean a lot to me and to all of the people who worked to get the book out there in the marketplace. A lot of us have extra time during the Christmas holiday, so if the book made a difference in your life, please post a quick review if you haven’t already.

Aside from making me feel awesome, great book reviews make it more likely that people who hear about my book will actually acquire it and read it. Think about it…. If you are on the fence about a book and visit, a bunch of good book reviews makes you think, “Oh wow…I don’t want to miss out on this.” It’s the confirmation you need to place the order or put the book on your wish list.

I’ve heard that some readers love the book, but feel too embarrassed to tell their girlfriends about it! They don’t know how to get the word out without revealing their own vulnerability and concerns about their dating lives. If that’s you, try to post a review under an anonymous name if it makes you feel more comfortable, and check out my articles. You can share an article on Facebook without immediately admitting that you read the book!

Thanks for the support and Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Holiday Excitement & Former Flames

I got a special request a while back ago to talk about former flames who are now in friend status. The old boyfriend who keeps calling, for example. Or, the one who wants to hang out or attend parties together when you’re in town over the holidays.

A good rule of thumb is to assume that if the guy is still calling a lot or finding ways to get together, and there was a “past” – he still likes you. If you broke up with him, he wants what he can’t have.

His “like” will probably come through from time to time in the guise of nosiness, subtle jealousies, protectiveness, and little flirtations. Or, just being next to you. If he’s always with you, other guys may not make a move on you.

It’s really odd and confusing if he’s not coming forward with his feelings or saying something clear and articulate on the matter, but some guys won’t. He could be afraid of what you might say. He might not want the responsibility of a relationship with you, but enjoys being a bit of a voyeur, distracting you, and getting the little bit of attention he can from you. Wielding his influence could make him feel powerful, or maybe having a cute female friend makes him feel special. Or, he just doesn’t want to lose the common history and “bond” you share.

Ask yourself some questions. Are you really done with this guy? Do you have any expectations of a second try at the relationship? Is your attentiveness causing him to get expectations? Is he around enough to deter other men from pursuing you? Even if you are not “dating,” being with a guy a lot can cause you to become an “item.”

I think it’s always best to move on as soon as you know a romance is over, because time on this planet is so limited. Remaining in “in between” status can waste valuable time and confuse people’s emotions. Not allowing a former flame to lean on the crutch of friendship can force him to define his feelings and intentions.

My husband weighed in on this one and said that when guys stick around as friends after a break up, they are trying to weasel their way back into your heart.

So, if you don’t want to get back together with a former flame, I suggest distancing yourself from them when they want to be friends. Let him know you are dating other people, don’t always pick up the phone when he calls, and don’t feel pressure to immediately respond to emails. And if you’re at the same holiday party, chat with other guests. Move on!